nothing less of dysfunctional
by woodstockfestival
Summary: They fight. They make up. They will intentionally try to torture each other. But they love each other. They are really nothing less of dysfunctional. Possibly a bunch of one-shots of Quinn and Puck living in Boston  during a certain part of their lives.
1. And a giant squid

Hello! Well i just came up with this. This is a bunch of random one-shots with Quinn and Puck living in Boston and i would say they just got out of college. So probable twenty-three ish. Suggestions more than welcome.

Now each chapter title will have a random name from some quote from the chapter that deosn't really have much to do with the plot. I stole the idea for "Two and a Half Men" I do not own that show!

Anyways enjoy! And I hate to be an obnoxious beggar but if you have the chance please review.

I do not own anything.

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><p>The city is hot and muggy and all Quinn wants to do is hop on the first flight up to the North Pole. She taps her foot impatiently as she stands in front of the window air conditioner, waiting for it to let out cool air. Any air that isn't in the eighties.<p>

"Come on," She says as she leans over to play with the knobs again. "Just give me a little air. Something to let me out of my misery."

When the machine made the starting sound and then a crashing noise again, she threw her arms up, "Fine, you win." Quinn ripped out the chord from the outlet with all the frustration she could muster. She figured it was the hot weather making her delusional wanting to get revenge on an air conditioner.

Quinn walks into her kitchen and pulls out an ice pack. She lets her self stand in front of the freezer for a few extra seconds before closing it and putting the ice pack behind her neck. She lets out a satisfied sigh when the cool piece of heaven touches her and sends chills down the rest of her body. She sits down at her small kitchen table and puts the small table fan on, sticking her head right where the wind was blowing.

A few minutes later, Quinn was in a comfortable place, where she was cool and had the image of snow falling right around her in her apartment. Just as Quinn was letting a smile slip, the doorbell rang, sending the frown right back across her face. She let seconds go by with out getting up, hoping the person would go away. But of course they didn't because luck wasn't on her side that day.

Quinn takes all her energy to push her self up out of the chair and to walk away from her cool, calm sanctuary.

"Coming, coming," She says half-heartily, the heat making all her effort to be aggravated go away. She opens her door and her boyfriend Puck comes tumbling in.

"Holy shit Quinn, it's hot as balls in here," Quinn shuts the door and turns to look at him. "Why don't you have your air conditioner on?" He walks over to her broken machine that sits lifelessly in her window, and he starts to play with it. She watches in amusement as he tries to fix it, doing everything she did but nothing working.

She sinks down into her couch and fans herself with a magazine; waiting for him to realize everything he is doing is completely useless. "What the hell?" He asks, clearly giving up as he falls back against the wall.

Quinn tries to smirk but it requires too much energy, so she just settles with saying, "Oh yeah I forgot to tell you, it is broken."

She gets up and walks back into her kitchen, groaning when she sees the ice pack perspiring onto the table, leaving a huge puddle underneath it. She waves her hand in front of the fan and frowns when it isn't as cool as she left it. She picks up the ice pack and walks it back over to the freezer.

She hears Pucks foot steps behind her, walking slowly into the kitchen. "Why did you let me waste all my energy on that for like five minutes?" He asks, sinking into the chair that is in front of the fan. Quinn watches as the new burst of cool air takes him on the same trip as it did to her.

"Because," Quinn starts, running her hands under the cool water of her sink, attempting to rinse the sweat off, "I had to waste all my energy on it for twenty minutes."

When Quinn doesn't hear a smart-ass remark from Puck after a while, she looks up and sees him content in front of the fan, his eyes closed and Quinn wonders if he is picturing snow falling around him or the ice castle. She taps her fingers on her island watching him and decides after a minute or so he had enough time in chilly paradise.

"Hey Puck," Quinn calls over to him and he doesn't even flinch, "Puck," Quinn singsongs, walking over to him. "Puck!" Quinn eventually gets Puck out of his trance and he snaps his head around.

"What?" he asks annoyed.

Quinn tries to hold back her smile at how mad he looked at her. She almost feels bad but doesn't because he did the same to her. She doesn't know what to say, so she says, possibly egging him on, "Hi!" She says with big smile forming on her face.

He looks at her confused and says with no effort, "Hi" He turns back towards the fan and Quinn puts an automatic stop to it.

"No you don't," She says pulling his body back around by his shoulder.

"What do you want?" He wines and Quinn rolls her eyes at how pathetic he sounds.

"If I don't get the only cool part of this apartment, you don't get the only cool part of this apartment." She can see he is about to protest so she cuts him off before he gets the chance. "Come on I want you to see something." She says walking towards the living room and waving her hand for him to follow her.

He groans, throwing his head back and reluctantly gets up. She leads him into her bedroom and he smirks. "Babe I am always open to seeing you naked but can't we wait till it's a little cooler."

Quinn rolls her eyes and spits out, "Not sex you pervert." She walks over to a stand with a sheet over it, "This" She pulls the sheet off of the stand to reveal a painting.

Puck walks over to stand next to her and Quinn waits in anticipation waiting for his reaction. After what Quinn swears an eternity, he says, "What is it?" He asks confused.

"Do you like it?" Quinn asks biting her lip.

"What is it?" He asks again, re-examining it.

"It is an octopus-"

"I can see that-"

"And a giant squid-"

"I can also see that-"

"So do you like it?" Quinn asks a little frustrated he hasn't answered her question yet.

"Well if I knew what it is-"

"I told you what it was!"

"I know but what is it suppose to mean? And what are they doing?"

"It represents-"

"Wait, are they having sex?"

"No," Quinn snaps annoyed.

"Then what are they doing?"

"Shaking hands-"

"Sure they are…"

"They are shaking hands-"

"Aren't squids and octopuses supposed to hate each other?"

"Yes!" Quinn says, a huge grin taking over her face.

"Is it supposed to represent irony of nature or something?" Puck asks slowly, looking back over the picture.

"Kind of," Quinn says and looks at him, hoping he would say some sort of genius statement. But Quinn lets go of that hope when he looks back at her confused. Quinn sighs and explains, "It shows that even if you are suppose to be enemy by nature, you don't _have _to be."

Puck nods, finally understanding. "Sort of like you and Berry."

Quinn laughs, "Yeah, sort of."

"Insightful," Puck says looking at the painting.

"So do you like it?"

Pucks looks over at her and smiles, "Yeah it's great."

"You aren't just saying that?"

"No I love it," He says pulling her into a hug with one of his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Better than all the pictures of trees you are obsessed with doing." He says, as he lets go of her and sits on her bed.

Quinn rolls her eyes and ignores the last statement he said; "Well I am thinking of summiting it to the gala." She says examining it once again.

"You should," He nods.

"I should?" She asks turning to face him.

"Yes you should," He said and then looked over to the clock at the other end of the room. "Oh fuck we gotta go." He said getting up and walking to the door.

"Why?" She asked confused.

"Oh yeah I forgot to tell you. We are going to meet Finn and Rachel for lunch."

"Puck!" Quinn snapped, annoyed at her boyfriends lack of information.

"What?" He asked turning around to look at her.

"I'm not dressed." Quinn said looking down her body at her tank top and flowy skirt. The only comfortable clothes to wear in the hot weather she had to face this time of year.

"Well it looks like you are wearing cloths to me."

Quinn rolled her eyes, "Not to go out in."

"It's not like we are going anywhere fancy"

"But still," Quinn sighed and said, "Fine just give me five minutes to get ready."

"Fine, but no longer. We are already late as it is." He said walking out of the room.

"What time did you tell them we would be there?" Quinn asked calling after him, peeling her tank top off of her.

"Twelve," Puck called back. She looked at her clock that read eleven fifty nine and shook her head. She knew Rachel was going to kill her because they were always late to meeting them. Either it was because of miscommunication or Quinn and Puck got busy with other things and lost track of time.

Quinn got ready in record time: three minutes. She just threw on a fresh tank top, brushed her hair and threw it back into a fresh ponytail with a bandanna.

"That was quick," Puck said when she walked out.

"Yeah I know," Quinn said sliding her flip flops on. "I had to get ready quick because _somebody_ didn't inform me I was going anywhere."

Puck shrugged and got up off the couch, "Finn and Rachel will get over it."

"Rachel won't," Quinn said as she opened the door and stepped out of the apartment.

"Whatever," Puck said pulling the door closed behind him.


	2. Martha Stewarts new cook book

Hello! Thanks to those of you who reviewed. Now i changed the rating to T. I did M to be safe, which I do not need to do. So to the person who asked I hope that answers your question. Also if you read the first chapter and saw that I got the title idea from 'How I Met Your Mother' I am sorry because i messed up and it is from 'Two and a Half Men', I did fix it. I would love to take suggestions...so please give them.

Enjoy!

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><p>"I'm not going"<p>

"Well you already are"

"As soon as the car stops, I am jumping out."

Quinn rolled her eyes and gripped onto the steering wheel tighter. "You are worse than my six your old nephew when he has to go to the dentist."

"Well this is worse than the dentist. At least when you leave the dentist, you leave with stickers and a toothbrush, when I leave one of your families parties, I leave with half of my dignity." Puck said with his arms crossed and moped out the window.

"Oh for gods sake, you do not. Stop feeling sorry for your self." Quinn said, taking a turn off of the highway.

"Yes I do," Puck protested.

"You leave with plenty of dignity. You just don't like going because you have to actually dress up and mingle with people who have class." Quinn said and Puck rolled his eyes.

He turned towards her and said, "Yeah and I hate it. They always try to make me feel bad about my self for going to a Community College. And when they aren't giving me the third degree, they are talking about the Club or their newest business deals."

Quinn shook her head and let out a laugh, "And you think I like hearing about DAR and Martha Stewarts new cook book?"

Puck sat up in his seat and looked down at his hands, "Well ah no..." He said trailing off and Quinn raised an eyebrow at him. He looked up at her and said, "But they're _your_ family."

Quinn nodded and turned onto her Uncles Street, "Well your family isn't a piece of cake either."

"Yeah but I own up to that"

"So do I!"

"Well I don't have to wear a tie to my family parties," Puck turned his gaze back out the window and crossed his arms again. "I'm not going," He declared once more, knowing it probably wasn't going to work, but figured it wouldn't hurt to try again.

Quinn turned into a drive way aligned by opened gates and a big house at the end. "Well we are here. So either you walk all the way back to the city or you know you could always take a risk and hitch hike. Or you could buck up and get through this party with me and get a reward from me later."

Puck perked up at the word 'reward' and looked at her smirking, "What kind of reward?"

Quinn smirked back, "I think you know what I mean."

Puck studied her face and then studied her body up and down. She looked hot in her sundress and her hair falling around her tan, toned shoulders. He never turned down an opportunity to get a 'reward' from her. Plus he knew if he didn't go in he wouldn't get any thing from her for weeks. Not because he ditched one of the stupid family parties but because he left her alone to fend for herself at a stupid family party.

Puck groaned, because really at the end of the day he still wasn't happy to be going, and opened the car door. "Fine," He said before climbing out of the car.

Quinn smiled knowing she was always able to get him to do stuff. She swore, at times he was still the same hormonal teen from high school. Quinn got out of the car and gave her keys to the valet.

"Another thing between the difference between my family and yours," Puck said grabbing her hand as they walked up to the house.

Quinn sighed looking up to the angelic, clear sky, "Yes?"

"I don't have family in a five hour radius. You happen to have family a half an hour away."

"For the hundredth time, we have to come because my parents will be here." Quinn said, annoyed that she had to keep going over this with Puck.

"And your high maintenance sister, bratty kids, and dick of a husband-"

"Brad is not that bad-"

"He is a complete douche"

"I thought you guys hit it off the last time?"

Puck looked at Quinn and raised his eyes brows, "Really? You thought that?"

"Well you guys always talk about sports and you actually cracked a smile-"

"He brags about his uncle owning the Chicago Bears and actually had the decency to invite me to a game-"

"See he is-"

"Then he said I would make a great janitor at the stadium."

"Oh," Quinn said disappointed.

"Yeah," Puck said looking at the sky.

"You're right, he is a douche bag," Quinn admitted.

Finally they reached the steps and walked up to the front door. Quinn squeezed Pucks hand and gave him a reassuring smile before knocking on the door. Almost instantly after Quinn knocked on the door a maid opened it with a warm smile.

"Hello," The maid said with a European accent, stepping aside to let them in.

"Hi, I'm Quinn," Quinn said to the maid, reaching her hand in front of her. The maid seemed a little shocked by the gesture at first, but then hesitantly reached her hand out to shake Quinn's.

"Hi, I am Gerda," The maid said and then looked behind her.

"Hey, I'm Puck," Puck said stepping forward and shaked the maids hand.

The maid was about to speak up, but was cut off by a voice behind her, "Greta! This is not social hour." Quinn looked up to see her aunt coming from behind. "Hello Quinn," Her aunt said as she approached them, giving her a half-ass hug and a kiss on both cheeks, but as Puck says 'a pansy greeting'.

"Hello Susan," Quinn said trying to hold back an eye roll.

"And hello Puck," Susan said a little rudely, examining him up and down with her stink eye.

"Hello Susan," Puck said in an attempted monotone voice and Quinn discreetly kicked him.

"Now Gretchen, please check the kitchen to see if there is any more food plates to go around. I will have Sandy get the door." Gerda nodded and looked down as she walked off.

"Her name is Gerda," Quinn informed her.

"Excuse me," Susan asked confused and a bit appalled.

"The maids name is Gerda not Gretchen or Greta," Quinn said.

Susan scoffed and waved it off, "Well there are just so many of them, I can't remember everyone's name." Susan started walking them to the back of the house and said, "I don't know what I am going to do with them, I swear they are trying to get fired."

"What is that? Like your hundredth maid in the past few months," Puck asked, attempting to keep his voice at his normal tone.

Quinn's eyes popped out at him and Susan acted calm. "Well I don't keep track," She said, trying to laugh it off. "Well," Susan said as they reached a big, open, glass slider that opened to a giant deck over looking a gorgeous pool area and huge back yard. 'Huge' was an understatement for the yard. It was really an enormous hard that is probably a few acres, that collides into a hill that went up. The ironic part was that no one was in the pool, just standing around it. All the kids could do was play bocce ball and were in the hands of the hired nanny.

"Here we go. There is food around so help your self. Uncle Bob should be around here somewhere…" Susan trailed off, scanning the crowd.

"Are my parents around?" Quinn asked, also looking around the group of family members that she isn't even sure if she knows all of their names.

"They should be around some where," Susan said. Just then someone calls Susan over and she excuses here self before Quinn hears her name called.

"Oh Quinnie," Quinn turned her head to see her mom and dad approach on the deck, her dad deep in conversation and her mom walking over. "There you are, people have been asking about you."

"They have?" Quinn said hugging her mom.

"Yes they have," Her mom said and then her attention turned to behind Quinn. "Oh Meghan! " Quinn watched her mom run over to her sister and crew.

"Good talking to too, mom," Quinn muttered. "Haven't scene you in what? Four months?"

Puck scoffed, "What a party"

Quinn rolled her eyes at her family and turned to the deck, "I need a drink." She said grabbing Pucks arm and dragging him out to the deck.

"Dido," He said following behind her. "But don't you want to say hey to your sister?" He asked pointing behind him.

"She will be out to screech my name any minute," Quinn said as they approached the open bar, ordering them two drinks.

"Who gets an open bar for a family party anyways?" Puck asked as the bar tender handed them their drink.

"I don't know, but I'm not complaining," Quinn said leaning against the bar and taking a big gulp of her drink.

"Believe me I'm not either," Puck said taking a drink of his…well whatever Quinn ordered. "Is everyone here even your family?" Puck said looking around at all the pretentious people.

Quinn shrugged, "Probably not, probably a lot of 'family friends' we are suppose to try and impress."

"Sounds like every other party," Puck said taking another sip.

"Yeah," Quinn said downing the rest of her drink.

"Wow there cowgirl, slow down," Puck said through a laugh.

"I will once my aunts plastered smile doesn't seem so obnoxious and my sister seems a little bit quieter." Quinn said turning to order another drink.

"What's the matter? You didn't seem this biter about it on the way here." Puck took a small sip of his drink because it looks like he will be designated driver.

"Yeah I was trying to be optimistic," Quinn retrieved her drink and turned back against the small bar, "then I stepped in the house."

"Gottcha," Puck nodded. "Look out," Puck said tilting his head up in the direction of Quinn's family approaching her.

"Quinnie!" Meghan yelled, a big smile on her face running over to her. "I haven't scene since when, Easter?"

"I don't know, but it has been to long," Quinn lied as her sister grabbed her for a bug hug.

"Hello Noah," Her sister said, keeping her smile up as she hugged Puck.

"What's up?" Puck asked and Meghan seemed a bit surprised with his choice of words.

Instead of replying to Puck, Meghan turned to Quinn and asks, "Quinn, is that your Jeep in the parking lot?"

"The black one?" Quinn asked confused, wondering where her sister was coming from.

"Yeah"

"Then it is, why?"

"Just wondering-"

"Oh Quinn you brought _that_ car," Her mother said in disgust.

"Well it was either that or Pucks pick up and I didn't exactly feel like renting a five star car for the occasion." Quinn stated a little more annoyed and rudely than she intended. When Quinn saw the surprised look on her mothers face, she ducked her head in the other direction and took a sip of her drink.

Before her mother got a chance to respond to Quinn's comment, her dad, uncle and brother-in-law came over laughing. "Hello Quinnie," Her dad said walking over with his arms open and taking her in for a hug.

"Hi dad," Quinn said as she grasped him in her arms, wrinkling her nose at he extreme smell of whisky, guessing he was probably on his third glass.

"Noah," His Dad said nodding to Puck and shaking his hand. Puck nodded back, using all his power to not let the hate for the guy show.

"Give uncle Bob a hug," Quinn's uncle said opening his arms to Quinn after he said hello to Quinn's sister. Quinn laughed and took the big guy into a hug. He was probably the most drunk guy at the party, but it was his party and with a wife like his who would blame him? Bob was actually a person Quinn liked in the family. He was a happy-go-luck guy and a total opposite of his brother, Quinn's dad.

"And how have you been Puck?" The guy asked Puck with a warm genuine smile, giving him a firm welcoming handshake.

"I've been good, and you?" Puck asked returning the handshake.

"Life's good but busy," Bob was about to speak up again but was cut off by his name being called from inside by his wife.

Bob grumbled, "I will be back to catch up," Bob said walking off, waving to the Quinn's part of the family as he walked away.

When Bob left, he left the six adults standing awkwardly, trying to find something to say to eachother. Quinn downed her drink and ordered another one, the same action followed by her brother-in-law and father.

"So ah Meghan, the kids must be around here somewhere?" Quinn asked, looking around pretending to try to find them.

"Yeah they are with the rest of the kids and the nanny," Meghan said with a smile that Quinn's not so sure she has ever scene off of her. "Isn't it great they have someone to watch the kids here?" She asked turning to her mother.

"Oh its wonderful, Susan is genius," Judy said and Quinn rolled her eyes downing the rest of her drink and slamming it on the bar.

"I'll be right back, I need to show Puck to the bathroom," Quinn said dragging Puck behind her before he had the chance to put his drink down.

Quinn ran into the house, going through the kitchen, down a few random halls before sneaking up some stairs and going in to some random bedroom and slamming the door behind them, not looking back once.

"What are we doing in here?" Puck asked, trying to adjust his eyes to the dark room.

"Shut up," Quinn said taking his drink from his hand and placed it on a near by nightstand. She then crashed her lips into his and started undoing his belt buckle.

Puck smiled and shook his head, not protesting, and took her dress off of her. They fell onto the bed together and their limbs tangled together, forgetting about the world outside of them.

_Later they will sneak out of the room and attempt to get back to the party as sleuth as possible. But they don't try to hide their messiness and Quinn will see the mortified look in her parents face across the dinner table and she will smile to her self. When they are being grilled about their 'half-ass, blue collar' jobs, they won't give a damn._

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><p>Have a great day!<p> 


	3. single damn cookie

So this is a short one and not very good. Please give me suggestions they are fun to write! I hope you enjoy!

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><p>"Nope, not this one," Puck crumpled up his napkin and threw it on the table before getting up and walking into the small kitchen. "But closer to alright."<p>

"Ok try this," Quinn pulled out a new tray from the oven and placed it next to the many others.

Puck stared at her for a long moment then sighed and picked up a cookie from the rack. Two seconds after he took a big bite he made a face of disgust and spit out the contents of his mouth into a paper towel. "And you just took like eleven steps back," Puck said walking over to a cabinet and pulled out a glass.

"Ugh!" Quinn moaned throwing her head back into her hands and sunk into a chair at the table. "You haven't liked any single damn cookie yet."

"Because they all suck," Puck ran his glass cup under the water and took a bug chug of the drink, almost emptying the whole thing. He sighed and wiped his mouth before saying, "When are you going to face you can't bake?" And after a moment he decided to add, "Or cook."

Quinn glared over at him before looking down at her hands and admitting, "I know, but it doesn't make it any easier."

"Just buy some from a bakery or grocery store," Puck said walking over to join her at the table. "That bakery a few blocks away has the best fucking chocolate chip cookies," He suggested, taking a seat next to her.

"No, I can't just not make them, people will notice," Quinn slouched further in her chair and put her hands oh her head in exasperation. "Why can't I just be a good cook? I mean my sister makes the best brownies and muffins. My mom pure's her own fricken meats. And I can't even make a grilled cheese with out setting the fire alarm off. I will be eating ramen noodles and frozen pizza the rest of my life."

Puck held back any sarcastic or rude remark and went the supportive route with, "You don't _have_ to be a good cook. I mean sure fifty years ago it was important for women but times are different and you can be good at other thing."

Quinn smiled at his sweet ways of trying to make her feel better, "Thanks" Quinn said looking over a him before sitting up straighter. "But it's not like knitting where you either do it or not. It is good to know how to cook so you can provide for a family."

Quinn noticed Puck's face twist into a slightly shocked, worried look and she rolled her eyes. "I'm not saying I want us to get hitched and for you to knock me up again." Quinn stood up frustrated and picked up the mess Puck made on the table and headed back behind the counter in the kitchen.

Puck swallowed a lump in his throat and sputtered out, "I wasn't ugh…thinking that."

Quinn scoffed and raised her eyebrow, "Really?" She started rinsing a dish in the sink anticipating his answer.

Puck shook his head, throat feeling dry, "No. I mean yeah…yeah that wasn't what I was thinking." Puck grabbed his glass of water and chugged the rest of it down.

Quinn just slightly laughed and shook her head, putting her attention back down to the dishes. It was funny how every time she mentioned something remotely close to marriage or starting a family he got all flustered and couldn't make a complete sentence. She often used it against him to make him uncomfortable, most of the time to get back at him.

Puck sat back down at the table and folded his arms out in front of him, gazing down at the table. Quinn tried to not laugh out loud at how he was clearly trying to discreetly calm himself down.

Attempting to keep a strait face and say without a hitch, "So that is a no on a baby right?" Quinn asked like she was asking what he wanted for dinner.

Puck looks up with the scared and the please-tell-me-you-are-joking-right-now look. He looks away as he manages to get out after a few tries, "So ah we are done with the cookies right?"


	4. use a glass

Thank you for all the wonder full reviews/favorites/alerts. I recently got a tumblr .com/ stop by any time.

Enjoy!

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><p>"Puck do you want waffles? I'm making them!" Quinn called over her shoulder as she pulled a box out of the freezer. "Well heating them," she muttered to herself as she shut the freezer door.<p>

"Sure!" She heard a few seconds later. Just as she was turning the toaster on she heard him walking in the kitchen. "So ah you fell asleep last night," He said grabbing orange juice from the fridge and taking a chug strait from the carton.

Quinn made a face at his action, "Use a glass," Puck rolled his eyes and did as she said. "And ah," Quinn slightly laughed, "That's usually what people do when they go to bed," she passed by him and grabbed a bottled water from the fridge, "fall asleep."

"Ha ha no," Puck put the juice back in the fridge, "do you remember what you were doing before you fell asleep."

Quinn stared at him confused and walked over to the toaster to check on the waffles.

"Or what _we_ were doing?"

"No," Quinn said slowly walking towards him, "all I remember is getting home late from dinner and going to bed and…"

"And…"

"We um," Quinn's eyes burst open with realization and she clamped her hand over her mouth trying not to laugh. "I didn't?" She squealed.

"You did," Puck assured, flinching at the memory.

Quinn let out a sharp laugh and stopped immediately when she saw Puck's face, "Oh my god," Quinn turned around feeling her face blushed and walked back over to the toaster, "I can't believe I did that."

Puck shook his head and pointed a finger at her, "You think it is funny."

"I don't," Quinn couldn't hold back her smile and tried to cover it by pretending to check on the waffles.

"You do," Puck said walking over to her, "It is written all over your face."

"What is?" Quinn looked up at him, giving him her best poker face.

"Your amusement"

"Amusement?" Quinn raised her eyebrow.

"Yeah"

"At what?"

"At the hit of my man hood"

Quinn let out a loud laugh and threw her hand over her mouth immediately. When she felt she gained her control she asked, barely able to hold in her laughter, "Your what?" She squeaked out.

Puck walked away from her and threw his arms up as he turned to face her again, "How do you think it made my ego feel when you fell asleep right in the middle of sex?"

"Come on it couldn't have been _right_ in the middle"

"Pretty close," Puck said sitting in one of the kitchen chairs, "what? Was I not doing good enough? Was I boring you?"

"Puck," Quinn laughed, "I don't even remember it."

"Well that's all the answer I need right there"

"You are over reacting"

"It's burning"

"Huh?"

"It is burning!"

"Is that a new term for your man h-"

"Damn it Quinn the waffles!" Puck got up and rushed past her and pulled the black waffles out of the toaster.

"Shit, how did I not see that?" Quinn asked throwing them in the trash and made a face, "Or smell it?"

"Well maybe because you need a new toaster"

"My birthday is coming up"

"In three months"

"Whatever but lets just have cereal"

"Fine," Puck said slumming back in the chair.

Quinn watched as he pathetically mulled over the events of the past night.

"You possibly can't be this upset over a stupid thing?" Quinn walked over and sat in the chair next to him.

"A stupid thing? The stupid thing is only supposed to happen to old married couples with no sex life."

"Ok first off how would you know that?"

Puck rolled his eyes, "All those stupid chick things you make me watch."

Quinn nodded her head, "And second I'm sorry, I was really tired."

"Then you shouldn't have started what you couldn't have finished."

"Puck?"

"What?"

"Get over it"

Puck stared at her for a few beats before finally conceding, "Fine"

"Thank you," Quinn said getting up before being pulled back down by Puck.

"But you know what this means right?" Puck asked with an evil smirk.

"I am scared to asked," Quinn said looking him over.

"You get to make it up to me"

"I know I will-"

"Now," Puck said picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder.

"Puck!" Quinn shrieked and laughed, "What about breakfast?"

"You just burnt it"


	5. cart wheel

"Come on Puck, please"

"No"

"Please?"

"No Quinn, I told you I am not gonna do it"

"Come on," Quinn pleased, falling back onto her elbows, trying to get under more shade, "it is hot and I am bored."

"You forced me out here"

"I didn't realize you would be such a drag, but if-"

"No"

"Please"

"No," He protested, determined to stand his ground until…"-no I am not…don't give me that face. I swear it wont wor-"

Puck threw his head back, frustrated, and let out a groan before pushing him self up, "Fine, but you wont tell anyone."

Quinn put her right hand up and nodded her head, "Not a soul"

Just as Puck was getting up he saw something that put him right back onto his butt, "Oh look who it is," He said plastering on his biggest fake smile, "Finn and Rachel, looks like your evil plan is ruined."

Quinn returned the smile and said, "I'm sure they won't mind enjoying the show."

"Hey!" Rachel said as she ran over to them, Finn quick on her heals.

"I haven't seen you in forever!" Quinn squealed getting up and giving Rachel a big hug.

"Hey Finn," Quinn smiled and went in for a hug, "how are you parents?"

"They're great, they give their best," Finn was about to say more but stopped when he saw Puck, "What's your problem?"

Puck glared at Quinn and she gave him a smile back, he knew he already lost.

"Nothing is his problem," Quinn said, "He was just about to show me his cart-wheeling skills."

Finn let out a hysterical laugh and tried to hide his face into his shoulder. "Jeez man, was coming to the park your idea too?"

"Fuck you," Puck picked up a near by stick and chucked it at Finn's head, but Finn dodged it just in time for it to just skim his ear. "It was Quinn's idea and she is forcing me into this lame-ass circus move."

"What's the big deal?" Rachel asked grabbing a bottled water form the cooler.

"Apparently only gay guys go it," Quinn informed her.

"I don't know," Finn picked up a bag of chips and took a few bites before finishing his statement, mouth some-what still full, "I don't think Kurt would do a cart-wheel in the park."

"Because he wears two-hundred dollar jackets to the park."

"You know man, you don't have to do it, "Finn said sitting down against a tree, stuffing his face with more chips.

"Yes he does," Quinn is quick correct him.

"Damn dude," Finn leaned over and whispered to Puck, not so quietly, "you are even more whipped than I thought."

"Shut your face, "Puck shove Finn back away from him, "I am not as bad as you. I swear you have already gone soft."

Finn opened his mouth to objection but then closed it, shrugged and shoveled more food into his mouth.

"Hey!" Rachel exclaimed from the other side of the blanket and crossed her arms, "That is also offending me."

"Please Rachel, don't fight it, you know you are controlling." Quinn informed the brunette.

"I am-"

"Embrace it," Quinn sat down next to Finn and smiled at Puck.

"No"

"What?" Quinn yelled, "you said you would!"

"Yeah but I don't want to turn into Finn"

"You wont, I am nothing like Rachel!"

"You can turn that way though"

"You guys do realize we are both here, right?"

"Shut up, please Puck"

"No"

"You owe me"

"I was hoping to pay you back somewhere else," Puck smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yeah we are still here"

"No," Quinn started, ignoring her other company, "you will do this, entertain me"

"Why do you want me to do it so badly?"

"Because"

"There must be some reason"

"There's not," Quinn looked down at the piece of grass in her hand.

"What is it?"

"I just… like cart-wheels"

"So do I…when girls in short skirts do them."

"Yeah I know…I got pregnant because of it."

"Good times," Finn mumbled from beside her.

"Are you going to do one or not?"

"Not"

"Screw you"

"You know what? Fine," Puck stood up and threw his hands in the air, "if it means this much to you then I will do one."

Quinn perked up, "Really?"

"Yeah, but if women track me down after this don't come crying to me when I have numbers written all over my body."

"Or fashion questions"

"Fuck off Hudson, at least I am man enough to do one."

"I could do one"

"Yeah fucking right"

"It can't be _that_ hard, I mean guys have a lot of upper body muscle."

"And yet they still suck at them," Quinn said to her self, looking up at the sky.

"Then why don't you do one?" Rachel asked.

"Huh?" Shock etched through Finn's voice.

"You heard me, if it is so east then do one."

Quinn and Rachel shared the same amused smile and malicious eye glimmer.

"Well ah- because Puck is doing one and I don't want to take away his thunder."

"He has plenty of thunder to share."

"You just don't want to look gay."

"Ok fine, lets do one together."

"Do you want to look like a figure skating team?"

"Ok go on three"

"Fuck you"

"One"

"You suck"

"Two"

"Go to hell"

"Three"

_Crash._


	6. same page

Thanks to the wonderful reviews, ect. It does help me write more. This just sort of came to me like all of the other chapters. I welcome suggestions. I mean please is there is something you want to see, I would love to attempt it and give it my all.

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><p>"You know you suck, right?"<p>

"Yea, just like you know I hate you."

"Glad to see we are on the same page."

…

"What the hell"

"What?"

"What the hell!"

"What's going on?"

"Shit, shit, shit!"

"What's the matter?"

"There's a spider in the shower!"

"Ooo a spider," He mocked.

"Get rid of it!"

"Ok I'll get rid of it"

"Careful not to kill it!"

…

"Get out!"

"The fuck? It's almost midnight"

"I don't care, get out"

…

"You move a lot in your sleep"

"Sorry"

"And drool"

"…thanks for telling me?"

"You really aren't one of those women who are beautiful and peaceful in their sleep, like in the movies."

"You really need to learn when to shut the fuck up."

"Don't be mad at me because you are no Sleeping Beauty."

Quinn reaches over, grabs _his_ toast, takes a bite and throws the rest at him.

…

"Finns coming over to watch the game."

"Shocker"

…

"Why don't we live together again?"

"Because we can barely stand each other as it is."

"Right," He nods and turns his attention back to the movie.

Truth: The rent to his apartment isn't up yet.

…

"I want a puppy"

"I want a million dollars"

"I'm serious"

He blinks.

"Me too"

…

"Have you ever killed someone?"

"Yes"

"Who?"

"Well besides you in ten minutes, ah I was responsible for the death of Michael Jackson."

"Interesting"

"And that teacher who worked at McKinley for forty years who always kept frogs in her room."

"And all this time I thought it was just old age."

"That's the key- go for the least obvious, kill people who would have other, more obvious reasons of being dead, other than you killing them."

"I'm impressed Fabray"

"You better start running Puckerman, your next."

…

"Why don't you walk around more naked more often?"

"I guess it just slips my mind."

"Really?"

"No"

…

"You need to go to the store."

"Why?"

"Out of chips"

"I am pretty sure I have other food."

"Yea but no _chips_"

"Is Finn coming over later?"

"…yeah"

"Have him pick some up"

"Good plan babe!"

…

"Lets watch The Exorcist"

"Don't you find it a little sad it makes you sleep?"

"No"

"I think your possessed babe"

"But I am"

…

"Creep"

"Dickhead"

…

"Why do we fight so much?"

"Because getting along all the time is boring."

…

"I love you"

"Love you too"

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><p>Have a good day, afternoon or night!<p> 


	7. The Godfather

Thanks for the reviews! I would like to thank Written-in-hearts for giving me this idea! This chapter is dedicated to you. Pleas again, I hate to be a beggar, but i appreciate suggestions. Also check out my tumblr .com. Ask me questions or leave suggestions.

Enjoy!

* * *

><p>"How many times do I need to tell you I don't want to watch The God Father?"<p>

"I don't care," Puck took a chug of his beer and put his feet up on her coffee table, "it's my turn to pick the movie."

Quinn rolled her eyes and sunk into the couch crossing her arms. "I don't see what you see in the movie anyways."

"I don't see what you see in the Notebook."

"What? I've never made you watch that with me."

"Berry has and it sucks." Puck let out a belch and relaxing further into the couch, irritating Quinn even more.

"You suck," She said getting up and smacking his head on the way into the kitchen.

"Hey!"

"Screw you!"

"Fuck you!"

Quinn was reading her book in the kitchen, finally beginning to relax, when she heard Puck call out an order from the living room.

"Get me some Doritos will ya?"

Quinn stiffened up and hardened her grip on her book, "Get them your self!" She called back. Though she didn't know why they were talking so loud because the kitchen and living room weren't that far apart and the door separating the two wasn't all that thick.

"Your closer!"

She threw her book on the table and yelled, "If you want the damn Doritos get off your ass and get the them your self!"

There was silence before she saw the door swing open and Puck come in with an empty beer bottle in hand, "What's your problem?"

"What's your problem?" Quinn mumbled to herself attempting to imitate Puck and picked her book back up.

"I hate when it is the time of your month," Puck grabbed the bag of Doritos and another beer and walked back out to the living room.

Quinn bit the inside of her mouth to keep her self from saying anything more and dove back into her book.

A few minutes later, after she read a few more pages of her book, an idea came to her head and a smile crept across her face.

Quinn stood up and stretched her neck out before walking back into the living room.

"Hey Puck?" Her voice was quiet and shy.

"Yeah?" He said shoveling the chips into his mouth, not prying his eyes off the TV.

"Can we talk?"

He looked at her for a second and back at the TV, "If it's about earlier, I'm sorry, but this is the best part of the movie and-"

"It is important," She sat down next to him and positioned her body to face him.

"Is everything ok?" He asked pausing the TV.

"Well technically yes, but it is all subjective, just promise you wont freak out."

"Well you're already starting to freak me out," He said taking his legs off of the table and sitting up.

"Ok but I want you to remember we have been through a lot and can get through anything, ok?"

"Was is it Quinn?"

"Ok umm…"

Quinn tried her best not to crack a smile. She credited her days of manipulation and drama club senior year to her good acting skills.

"I'm pregnant"

Pucks face fell instantly and he looked like a scared little kid. For the first second felt guilty but then she realized it was Puck and they did this shit to each other all of the time.

"Are- are you sure?"

Quinn nodded. "Yeah I took a pregnancy test, I have been sick, and even more moody than usual."

"But we- we used protection," Puck's stutter and barely able to make complete thoughts were making whole thing that much better.

"I know"

Quinn wanted to make a comment about him having strong swimmers but that wouldn't be something she would say if it was actually happening.

Puck sighed and put his head in his hands. "What are we going to do?"

"I don't know, we are older and wiser than the last time, but still…"

Puck nodded and sat back up. "We will be ok"

She just felt fake tears brim to her eyes and dove in for a hug. "I'm scared though," Quinn whispered to Puck, letting her tears fall onto his neck.

"I know, I know," Puck soothed rubbing her back.

"We don't have very good jobs, our apartments suck-" Quinn felt her tears getting more hysterical and she hid her smile in Puck's shoulder.

"We will figure it all out."

"You promise?"

"Promise"

They stayed like that for a few minutes longer before Quinn released herself from the embrace and wiped her eyes. "I'll be right back"

"Where are you going?"

"To get some water"

"Ok," Puck nodded and pick up the remote, "hey, I'll put a different movie in."

Quinn let out a small smile and turned to push the door but then turned back around again faced him, "You really think it is going to be ok?"

Puck stared at her for a second and she could see the scared look in his eyes, "Yeah, like you said, we can do anything together."

Quinn nodded again and walked into the kitchen, trying to not let her laugh be audible to Puck.

She grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped the top off.

Quinn tried to gain her composure and stop laughing when she went back out to the living room.

Puck looked at her confused when he saw the beer in her hand. "You didn't need to get me one, I still have half of one left."

"I know," Quinn said taking a sip from the bottle, "It's for me."

"You can't have that," Puck said reaching for the drink from her hand.

"Sure I can," She said taking another sip and putting it out of his reach.

"You're pregnant"

They stared each other down before Quinn let out a sharp laugh.

"What the hell?"

"Gotch ya!" Quinn let out between laughs. Tears were rolling out of her eyes and she could hardly contain her body.

"You little bitch"

"I can't believe you fell for it!" Quinn screeched, her laughter still going.

"Glad I could be your sense of amusement for the night."

After a few minutes, Quinn's laughter died down and she put a hand on Puck's shoulder. "Sorry I just had to."

"You didn't"

"Yah but…you have to admit it was pretty funny."

"Yeah hilarious!" Puck bit out sarcastically. After a few seconds of silence and few giggles from Quinn here and there, "So you're really not pregnant right?"

"No"

"Thank god," Puck sighed throwing his head back against the couch.

Quinn started to stroke his head and said, "Though how would you feel about having a baby?"

Puck looked at her with his you've-got-to-be-kidding-me and worn out look. Quinn gave him a big smile and started to laugh again.

"You have serious problems," She laughed.

"I," Puck pointed to him self, "I have problems?" He asked in disbelief.

Quinn laughed and nodded her head. Puck smiled deviously and reached for her beer and chugged the whole thing.

"Hey!"

"And I am putting back on _my_ original movie choice."

"What ever," Quinn said reaching for the Doritos and taking out a handful, "it was totally worth it."

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><p>Thanks again Written-in-hearts!<p> 


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